Anna Carroll

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What I learned from Leila

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It was a cold, rainy night in San Jose the night we met Leila. I still remember where she was standing and how she liked her coffee.

Our team, along with another organization, had just started visiting the red light district and zones. We would bring coffee and cookies and hangout with people living and working on the streets of the capital city.

Over the weeks and months of visiting Leila, I practiced my Spanish and she would practice a few words of English. We settled into a rhythm of sorts in our conversation topics. Our team van would pull up, she would recognize it and walk over with her coffee order ready. I would climb out and we would chat about the weather, music, Costa Rican food, etc.

One December night I found myself alone in our drop in center that we operated at the time-setting up a Christmas tree. I was homesick, exhausted and wondering if the decision to live and work in Costa Rica was the right decision.

It had been a rough year and the ups and downs of running a non-profit organization combined with living far from home and familiarity were taking a toll on my heart. I figured throwing myself into decorating the Christmas tree would help because I LOVE Christmas!

I had just started decorating when I heard a light knock on the outside gate of the center. To my surprise, there stood Leila with a shy smile as I opened the door. She had never visited before. As soon as she entered, she grabbed me in the biggest hug. It was as if her pain and loneliness was reaching out to mine in comfort. We stood there in a fierce embrace, no words, no explanation needed. Somehow that hug transcended both language and culture.

Leila changed my whole world that night as she shared with me and I with her. Eventually other staff joined us and she opened up about her story and life on the streets. Leila gave me a picture of a world I didn’t know or fully understand. Her story is not mine to share but what I can tell you is that her life was beautifully hard.

Weeks turned into months and months turned into years of our tradition of the van pulling up, me climbing out and Leila running to hug me. We would teach each other worship songs, pray and sometimes just sit quietly sipping our coffee together.

I’ll never forget the night the phone call came that Leila had passed away. My heart-felt shattered into a million pieces. Leila and I didn’t always agree on things but at the end of the day she knew that I loved her and that I was for her.

Leila taught me that I didn’t need to visit people on the streets with coffee in order to solve their life problems or “rescue them.”
I just needed to show up and build a bridge of mutual trust and respect.

Sometimes love looks like just showing up, pouring a cup of coffee and sitting quietly without expectation.

Almost ten years later, I am fully convinced that I made the right decision to quit my job and leave my Kentucky life to live and work in Costa Rica. For me it was never about what I was building but about who I was meeting. 

Jesus was about the process of the journey. He knew that every person I would encounter would change and shape what we were doing in Costa Rica. He knew we would go on to work in other nations. He knew that women like Leila could impact our team which would in turn impact nations. All because we shared coffee on the streets.

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Dear Modern Day Abolitionist

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It’s not about you. It’s not about you. Please know though that I say this with so much love and kindness. I am writing you to tell you that it’s not about you because if you joined this fight, if you became an abolitionist to make a difference, to end human trafficking to rescue people, to stop slavery- You Will Burn Out.

It makes sense for the above reasons to be why you became an abolitionist- you felt compelled to do something. But eventually that sheer determination will only fuel you for a couple of years and then you will become fatigued. Joining a cause to change the world is great but what will sustain you and fuel you is simply just to love people and respect their dignity.

I cannot tell the detriment that is made in counter trafficking when those in need of assistance or support are not given the dignity they are entitled. Understanding terminology, statistics, stories and reports are all well and good but if we are not careful they can stigmatize and dehumanize a particular group of people experiencing a social injustice. And then we forget that, that particular people group is made up of unique individuals. These individuals have their own independent experiences and stories.

If dignity for others is a core value that you adhere to in any kind of humanitarian service work, than you will already be combating the savior complex that can be so prevalent in service work.

I tell you all of this because I made these mistakes early on but never dreamed I was hurting more than I was helping. After all, everyone in the anti-trafficking movement was camped around the mission to stop it. And it is a good reason to fight but it cannot be the main reason we rally. We have to rally because we love people. Because we believe in their value and dignity because we see them as as EQUALS, as PEERS because we see them as FRIENDS. The anti trafficking world has often bonded over outrage and anger as a means to fuel people to fight to abolish and yet the numbers increase in exploitation as well as staff and volunteer burnout.

 I believe to fight against human trafficking the approach cannot be re-active but rather purposefully and sustainably approached.  I think there is a need for the conversation to change in how we discuss Human Trafficking or raise awareness in the anti- trafficking movement. While albeit well intentioned, the image or perception of what is happening and how to help has incidentally created an “us versus them” mentality, in which the practitioners, volunteers, NGOs, etc are on one side of the fight against slavery and the survivors are on the other. When in fact we are all on one side and are ending modern day slavery together. Avoid using statements that say, “we provide freedom or we rescue.” I caution this because I can tell you that I have seen that kind of language bring more harm than good across the globe.

 Over the years, I have sat across the table from women and men working in prostitution, women and men in prison, kids growing up in violent communities and later going on to steal to survive, young people trying to dodge gang life and young people succumbing to the pressure of gang life.

I have listened to the stories of formerly incarcerated men and women trying to rebuild their lives after serving their time but coming against a society that won’t let them rebuild.

I have sat across the table from people who never thought they would leave home and country and become a refugee dependent on another nation’s generosity. And ALL of these stories and relationships have changed my life.

Here’s the thing, there was a time that I didn’t know to think about human trafficking, exploitation in prostitution and pornography, mass incarceration, gang violence and recruitment, child marriage, etc as more than heartbreaking issues of our day.

That is, until I was introduced to people affected by it daily. As I came to know these people-they became my friends. I then not only cared but became passionate to fight against the things that placed my friends in these situations. It was not about a cause, my friends weren’t a social justice “issue” they were living, breathing human beings who at some point had their stories hijacked.

And at the end of the day, every single one of these people just needed someone to listen. They needed to be seen and known. The thing is, after every table moment, I walked away humbled, challenged and changed. It forced me to look at governments, politics, systems and institutions and navigate ways for change, real change.

 And it’s not easy but change can and does happen and one of those ways is to first sit across the table from the people whom you might normally have never met.

I made a promise to myself years ago that I would celebrate every win in a fun and memorable way.⁣⁣

When I got word that a refugee family we were assisting in relocating had finally made it safely out of their country and arrived to their destination without problem- I jumped on my bed! ⁣⁣

⁣⁣When the text arrived that a young woman who had been trafficked had made an escape and was finally safe- I ate cake at midnight!⁣⁣

⁣⁣When a survivor messaged me to let me know she is still safe and pursuing her dream of a degree in fine arts-I took the rest of the day off and walked at my favorite park!⁣⁣

⁣⁣There are plenty of times I don’t receive good news and my heart breaks but I have learned that I cannot camp in disappointment or setbacks in fighting modern day slavery. I take a moment to let the tough news sink in and I grieve.⁣⁣ Our whole team has also learned to celebrate failure, not because we failed but because we tried.⁣⁣

⁣⁣If you are helping to provide support to someone requiring assistance, learn their name and a fun fact or dream they have, not the horrible things that have happened to them. Figure out how to humanize them instead of turning them into a cause or part of a social problem you must solve. If you memorialize the horror of what they have been through in order to fuel you to do what you do, you really actually just dishonor what they have survived. And then if you share only their pain and suffering with the world as a way to spur people to donate or fight-you keep the freedom they have at arm’s length.

My fellow abolitionist, after almost ten years in anti-trafficking work, I am fully convinced that if we let a love for people, a value for their dignity and a view of their equality be what fuels our passion to fight modern day slavery, we just might end it.

 

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SENDING LOVE ACROSS THE GLOBE: THE ENERGY IN COMPASSION

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The room was filled with whispers and giggles. As I looked around me, the kids were all sprawled out on the floor of the church sanctuary. Some had concentrated looks, others were squealing in delight at the progress being made-yet others were waiting anxiously for me to come and see their poster boards they had just finished.

You see they had all just learned about other kids across the globekids just like them. Except there was a huge difference, the kids they had just learned about were living in refugee camps, or fleeing as refugees to other countries-leaving behind clothes, toys, friends, a life.

My friends-the kids in Tres Rios community do not have it very easy either. They are growing up in a neighborhood where poverty, drugs, and crime are the norm. But I wanted them to know that the atmosphere surrounding them does not have to define them. They can be world changers, right where they are- even in this neighborhood.

We explained as gently as possible the crisis in the Middle East to all of the kids. At the end, I asked them their thoughts on what they had just learned. One child raised their hand and said- “We need to pray for them.” Yes, oh yes how spot on.

I asked them if they knew of ways we might help make a difference amidst the crisis. Shouts of ideas began to bubble up out of them as they took turns talking over one another. “They need clothes, we can fill a big truck with clothes for them!” Others said, food, toys, water, medicines, etc.

I was grinning from ear to ear as I heard their ideas. I loved them all. However, one very sweet voice suggested the one thing we all know is needed most. It’s the one thing that makes all the difference. It’s the one thing that shatters darkness.The sweet voice called out ever so simply- “love.”

Doesn’t that just mark you? No long winded answer on love and how and why-just simply stated. It came from a place of pure innocence, a perfect resting place of hope.

So we got out the poster board and crayons and let their imaginations take them away.Tears sprang to my eyes as they were met with smiles, enthusiasm and creativity.

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I was so impacted. They weren’t sad, scared or consumed with a dooming sense of helplessness. There in the midst of glitter and glue, crayons and markers- change was happening.  A change coming from little minds working away and I saw what God sees- faith like a child.

To a child, faith is so easy- so simple. In one child’s mind, why not drive a truck full of clothes to Syria from Costa Rica?! To him, this child-distance, money and time have no factor. Their hope was contagious. They were not focussing on their own lack of clothes, some even suggested they could run home and grab (what little they had) of their own clothes to give away.

What would the world be like if children were consulted more on world affairs? The innocent responses while so simple, are often the most accurate. We forget that some of the greatest answers are found within a simple idea.

Oh I know there seems to be a lot of complexity in the world today. Between social media, world news and local news-anger and hate are loud. But not this day, this day the kids chose hope and love. At the end of the day-hope and love are louder.

The energy in the sanctuary was exciting as the kids of all different ages were full of ideas, of hope. And there, I felt it. I mean I really felt it-the energy in compassion. It’s transformational. We stop thinking about the sadness and the despair. We stop thinking about the lack and the worry. We simply start thinking like Jesus. Our hearts beat hard for Him-for His hope.

We are praying and loving our family in Iraq all the way from Tres Rios Cartago, Costa Rica. And we are excited to announce that in December, we will be sending our small gift of love over to our friends at Love Does to sponsor their work with kids in Iraq!!

 

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Post by Executive Director, Anna Carroll

ES UNA LUCHA DURA / IT IS A HARD FIGHT

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I recently had the privilege to spend a few days with our sister organization, in Atlanta, Georgia. The fellowship and collaboration with Beloved, as always, was so refreshing.

In Atlanta, sex trafficking and abuse abounds. Children are bought for sex and then are forced to live on the streets for survival, selling their bodies to support themselves. As I meet women in Costa Rica, and the BeLoved team works with women in Atlanta, I’m reminded that this fight extends from minute villages to multi-million dollar cities. It spans continents.

One day, a few of us went to visit a little fishing village upon the request of a friend. It seems this beautiful, quiet village tucked away off the beaten path had an extreme problem. Sexual abuse, rape, and prostitution were rampant through the village, as well as drug trafficking. A school psychologist, desperate for change, began to share her stories with us of heartbreaking situations she encounters with the children of the local school.

After she tells the final story, she becomes silent. We all do for a moment. It’s over 90 degrees outside.  The one little fan in her office is making great attempts to cool us off, but to no avail. I break the silence to look at the director and say, “You have a difficult job, and I am going to be praying for you each day.” I can tell she feels hopeless. I squeeze her hand to let her know she is not alone. Sweat drips down both our brows as she says, “Es una lucha dura.” Her words echo my thoughts of the last month: “it is a hard fight”. However, a hard fight I refuse to quit fighting. We left the school with a plan to embark on a joint project with this school and LightForce.

Meanwhile, in Atlanta, women flood a waiting list to get into BeLoved Atlanta’s residential and restoration program, seeking help to get out of the life they wouldn’t have chosen as 12-year-old little girls. Little girls dream of being princesses, not rape victims. Each story is similar–sexual abuse as a child–but equally heartbreaking each time. These women are precious in God’s eyes, and through Jesus’ vision we see their value, but they don’t know it themselves. What hope is there in a life of prostitution?

Our drive home from the village that day was met with silence, as each one of us was lost in thought upon what we had just heard.

That evening I sat on the beach to spend some time with the Lord. I needed to look at something as powerful and magnificent as the ocean to be reminded of God’s ability to create and control. As I was praying, the Lord brought to mind the verses He had been laying on my heart every day prior:

“Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever….” Hebrews 6:17-20

I have been memorizing this passage and saying it to myself everyday since that moment on the beach.

I do have this hope and it is an anchor for my soul.

“And we have this hope…”

A brothel shut down in the Caribbean after one brave girl took the opportunity to present the Gospel to the owner and pimp.

“And we have this hope…”

We offered coffee and cookies to a woman on a routine stop but she said no and instead requested prayer.

“And we have this hope…”

A resident from our BeLoved Atlanta program pulled two staff members aside with tears in her eyes, and said, “I never knew people could be genuinely kind.”

“And we have this hope…”

We collaborated with another organization to see one amazing young girl receive love and freedom.

“And we have this hope…”

The first little girl that we ever had the privilege to meet and rescue is still to this day free.

The blood of Jesus rewrote history and now we have this hope.

 

 

 

 

Embracing Space

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Band Of BrothersComing back to Costa Rica after so long of an absence, yet knowing I’m only going to be here for a short time has made space for some serious reflection. It’s been more than humbling to see all that’s happening in Costa Rica. It has been almost overwhelming at times to watch the LFI staff own the vision, confidently engage the broken on the streets, and open their hearts to those that are in need of belonging. For what we may lack sometimes in monetary resource, LFI more than makes up for in the richness of the lives of our staff and volunteers.

After two weeks of feeling overwhelmed and graciously humbled, I remembered Psalm 18:19,

He brought me out into a wide open place; He delivered me because He was pleased with me.

Other versions say “spacious places.” Nonetheless, spacious places sound good and picturesque in the Bible; however, when you start to think about the reality of a spacious place, it doesn’t always give us the same warm feelings. Maybe I’m weird, but I immediately pictured a scene from the miniseries, Band of Brothers. A USA military unit is out in the woods during the winter fighting back the Germans, and while everything is quiet, you see Major Winters running along the line telling everyone to get ready. Then you see the enemy tanks coming up through the other side of the woods, out into a wide open space. Maybe that isn’t a pretty picture, but here is my point: wide open spaces are sometimes hard places. They’re places where you feel the tension of victory while also being keenly aware that struggle is right along side. Rescue, however, is the promise of these spacious places.

The day after I landed in Costa Rica, a precious life needing restoration was dropped into our laps. Although I can’t say much about her personal story, this young girl at just 18 years of age had experienced more trauma in her life than many people have encountered in their entire lives. She was desperately in need of a wide open space. Over the weeks she’s been with us there’s been struggle. She’s happy to be safe and starting a new life, however, the sense of fear and vulnerability is there too.

The unknown of wide open spaces is sometimes the very thing that keeps us from being rescued.

It’s when we choose to embrace the unknown and take that risk that we truly feel the delight of rescue. God takes pleasure in walking with us through these spaces. The question is do we really believe that to be true, and are we willing to walk with Him even when we feel afraid?

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