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What I learned from Leila

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It was a cold, rainy night in San Jose the night we met Leila. I still remember where she was standing and how she liked her coffee.

Our team, along with another organization, had just started visiting the red light district and zones. We would bring coffee and cookies and hangout with people living and working on the streets of the capital city.

Over the weeks and months of visiting Leila, I practiced my Spanish and she would practice a few words of English. We settled into a rhythm of sorts in our conversation topics. Our team van would pull up, she would recognize it and walk over with her coffee order ready. I would climb out and we would chat about the weather, music, Costa Rican food, etc.

One December night I found myself alone in our drop in center that we operated at the time-setting up a Christmas tree. I was homesick, exhausted and wondering if the decision to live and work in Costa Rica was the right decision.

It had been a rough year and the ups and downs of running a non-profit organization combined with living far from home and familiarity were taking a toll on my heart. I figured throwing myself into decorating the Christmas tree would help because I LOVE Christmas!

I had just started decorating when I heard a light knock on the outside gate of the center. To my surprise, there stood Leila with a shy smile as I opened the door. She had never visited before. As soon as she entered, she grabbed me in the biggest hug. It was as if her pain and loneliness was reaching out to mine in comfort. We stood there in a fierce embrace, no words, no explanation needed. Somehow that hug transcended both language and culture.

Leila changed my whole world that night as she shared with me and I with her. Eventually other staff joined us and she opened up about her story and life on the streets. Leila gave me a picture of a world I didn’t know or fully understand. Her story is not mine to share but what I can tell you is that her life was beautifully hard.

Weeks turned into months and months turned into years of our tradition of the van pulling up, me climbing out and Leila running to hug me. We would teach each other worship songs, pray and sometimes just sit quietly sipping our coffee together.

I’ll never forget the night the phone call came that Leila had passed away. My heart-felt shattered into a million pieces. Leila and I didn’t always agree on things but at the end of the day she knew that I loved her and that I was for her.

Leila taught me that I didn’t need to visit people on the streets with coffee in order to solve their life problems or “rescue them.”
I just needed to show up and build a bridge of mutual trust and respect.

Sometimes love looks like just showing up, pouring a cup of coffee and sitting quietly without expectation.

Almost ten years later, I am fully convinced that I made the right decision to quit my job and leave my Kentucky life to live and work in Costa Rica. For me it was never about what I was building but about who I was meeting. 

Jesus was about the process of the journey. He knew that every person I would encounter would change and shape what we were doing in Costa Rica. He knew we would go on to work in other nations. He knew that women like Leila could impact our team which would in turn impact nations. All because we shared coffee on the streets.

Pornography and Roadtrips

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Adult-world-neon

The highway has always been a symbol of fun, adventure, and new places. However, lately I’ve noticed the other side to the highway symbolizing one thing. Sex.

My husband and I just returned from our honeymoon, and we took a roadtrip to Tybee Island, Jekyll Island and he surprised me with a trip to Universal Studios for Harry Potter World. Yes, I know, I am a nerd. So, as you can imagine, we spent a lot of time driving on the highway and passing by billboards for, “ADULT WORLD EXIT 12”. After the first trip driving by these billboards, I didn’t think much of it. But, we drove by one billboard in particular with a woman’s silhouette on a pole which read;

“NAKED WOMEN! TRUCKER DISCOUNT! TRUCKERS WELCOME! TRUCKER PARKING!”

When I saw this my heart broke. Maybe it’s because I now work for LFI and therefore I am more sensitive to the sex industry. One thing I knew for certain was even if I personally destroyed that billboard, there would still be another one just like it a mile down the highway. I wanted to cry, my mind was racing with questions and solutions to making the highway less sexualized. The worst part was I couldn’t stop thinking about all the families driving down the highway, who are also going to Universal Studios and young boys seeing the billboards. As a young boy would this spark something unhealthy? I didn’t know. Or a truck driver who has a family, did this billboard just alter his marriage? I don’t want to know.

As I was sitting in the hotel room in Orlando, I was crying out to God because I felt so troubled over what was pressing on my heart and didn’t know how to fix it. I said, “Lord, what can I do?” and He said to me, “You can pray for them.”Pray for them? I was hoping the Lord would say, ‘Spray paint over the billboards and burn down what’s remaining whenever you run out of spray paint!’ or ‘Start an organization and riot!’, but instead He wanted me to pray. Perplexed, I opened my bible to, 1 Chronicles 5:20:

“They were helped in fighting them, and God delivered the Hagrites and all their allies into their hands, because they cried out to him during the battle. He answered their prayers, because they trusted in him.”

The battle is against the sex industry and I am praying for the individuals involved, whether they are working within the industry or visiting. Praying for the sex industry littering our highways all over the world seemed hopeless. How do we pray for something so huge and expect the Lord to get the victory? Can’t we just chop down each billboard? Nope. Then, the Lord reminded me of a Children’s Church lesson I put together last year. The lesson was on ‘The Armor Of God’ and so I turned my bible to, Ephesians 6:10 ‘The Armor of God’

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand….And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

The sex industry is not just a battle against flesh, but it is an entire ruler/authority/power itself and because of this we are supposed to put on the full armor of God. Then, after we do put on the armor we must pray for “all of the Lord’s people”, not just the families on the highway or the truckers, but for everyone involved. The more I have been praying for the industry as a whole, the better I feel and the more encouraged I am about the situation. Perhaps, God wanted me to be burdened by this in order to have one more person praying for everyone.

So, pray. Because, our God always gets the victory and no good will come from chopping down a billboard.  The Lord will answer our prayers just like he answered the Reubenites prayer in 1 Chronicles, we must trust in Him and continue praying.

Psalm 65:2 “You who answer prayer,
    to you all people will come.”

POSTED BY STEPHANIE CARLSON

Defined

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How Am I Defined? | LFI Blog

How am I defined?

I have been thinking about this a lot lately since there are so many things out there that try to tell us who we are. The circumstances we live and work in, our family and friends, and the expectations of our employers and employees. It is seen whether we spend our nights on the streets or days in corporate America. There are even expectations that we place on ourselves and who we think we should be or what we should achieve. No one is exempt from these definitions it is just how we respond to them that determines our lifestyle and outcome.

Christ is the one who defines me. He continually speaks truth about who I am and what I am capable of doing and being. He knows who I am from the inside out and from top to bottom. He has seen my good days and bad days. He loves me unconditionally and calls out the best in me. He desires my love and not my expectations. He knows where I have been but more importantly sees where I am going.

I know I don’t deserve anything and yet Jesus gives me life. I know I am not strong enough and yet Jesus gives me strength. I know I am not smart enough and yet Jesusgives me wisdom. He is my ultimate definer, refiner, and love. He has called out my beauty and strength while laying down His life on my behalf. He defines me and that is all I need to know.

Unexpected Beginnings

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Children at the Border | LFI

Can it really be four years ago that I sold almost everything I own, quit my job, and moved to Costa Rica simply because God moved on my heart to do so?  I wanted to be obedient, but I was baffled that God chose Costa Rica to launch me out into the mission field.  For the two years prior, all I had talked about was the Middle East. I even trained one summer with an organization (SWI) that goes into places like Pakistan.  I studied Islam and the persecuted church and areas where persecution of Christians was very prevalent.  I was determined to find and go to any and all areas where Christ is not allowed nor wanted.

In my childlike faith, I wanted (and honestly still do) to just pick a spot in the middle of the world, set up a home and then just house, feed and love every single orphaned, abandoned, hungry child on the globe.  However, that was not what He had in mind for me, and so when He sent me to Costa Rica, I told him I would just take all the little ones in Central America!  So it is not surprising that it did not take me long to discover an unreached, untouched area that was full of exploited and hurting young kids.  As I sat listening to a pastor share all he had discovered in a certain town and how desperately in need these children were, my heart broke.  Although I told the pastor I would pray and would not commit to anything, deep down I knew I would be back.  I came home and prayed, and it was not long before I knew that I was to go back and see how I could help and where.  I also knew then that I was not going home.  I called my mom one night on Skype crying from what all I had learned of these children and crying because I knew I would not be moving home in December.  She cried with me but we were both smiling through our tears because we knew this was God. This was the birthing of LFI and the journey of how a girl from Kentucky moved to Costa Rica.

Like most girls, I grew up with Cinderella stories, but I also grew up with stories like David and Goliath, Moses parting the Red Sea, and missionaries (i.e. Jim Elliot).  At a young age, I was ruined for this world.  Many of us aspire to make a difference, our culture speaks of reaching for the stars, becoming anything you want as long as you believe in yourself.  We flock to the theaters to see good triumph evil, rags rise to riches, and success defy defeat.  Why?  Because the one who designed us, who spoke us into existence, in whose nature we were created; defined those heroic tales.  God triumphed evil with His Son, Jesus, and everyday He triumphs when you step out and be His hands and feet.  Everyday success defies defeat when you allow Him to shine through your weaknesses so He can shame foolishness.  For every counterfeit, there is a genuine.  The Bible is not fiction nor fantasy.  It is a living God telling stories through the lives of everyday men and women who allowed God to use them.  The day I made Jesus Lord of my life, that became my culture.  My heart began to beat with thoughts of how big God was, how through Him all things are possible, and how the world was so hurt and broken.  I knew, I too, wanted to let God take the pen and write His story, His version, His way.  Every test, every trial, every mountaintop and valley has taught me something and pushed me to grow in God.

 

The Cost Of Justice

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I’d define being just as “Pursuing righteousness and truth no matter the cost.”  Too often we jump on the band wagon of “social justice” because it seems trendy without remembering the cost of justice. The call to fight injustice alone, without weighing the cost, will not sustain us.

I’m still not sure what defines a call except that its a deep sense of fully knowing you’re meant to do something; a resonance within your soul that won’t let go, maybe? Nonetheless I’ve felt “called” to work with the victims of sex trafficking since I went to India in 2009. However, in the second year of working with victims on the streets of Costa Rica, I questioned that call. But I knew I was supposedly “called”, right? I had grown weary in my own strength. My vision of justice had not been fully formed from a relationship with God, but from my perceptions of what I thought justice should be—how I could earn it. God alone is the great Justifier. He epitomizes justice. The only way to lay hold of the meaning of justice is by spending time seeking God through prayer and worship. It is a costly process, but in doing so, we can’t help but see and feel His heart beat for people and His desire for social justice.

Without this, “the call” will only sustain you for so long until people become a burden or a job. Once you’ve lost connection with His heart, your head starts to take over and your heart is no longer in the work. A daily renewal and inflowing of His spirit is necessary in this pursuit of justice because without that we are only teaching people to be reliant on their self sufficiency, a greater injustice. As a growing non-profit, LFI has gone through many trial and error periods, but the core of who we are has remained the same. We reach out relationally to connect victims of sexual exploitation to their true value, empowering them to live a transformed life through Jesus. The greatest injustice we can impart to anyone is giving them self-sufficiency rather than a heart fully dependent on a good God who justifies us wholly.

 

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